Why do so many of us have trouble accepting that we are good?
When we were growing up and did something that our parents perceived to be good, we would hear from them that we were good. It may also come with smiles, clapping, a pat on the back, hugs, etc. We learned that if we did something good, we would get positive reinforcement. This recognition started from a young age. When we first rolled, sat up, crawled, took our first steps, we probably heard “Good job!”.
On the other hand, when we did something bad, threw our food, dropped something on the floor and broke it, threw a temper tantrum, didn’t listen, we would hear that we were bad.
Here are two important things that we can take from this
1. We are taught at a very young age and also conditioned to seek the approval of others. Because our parents shape our early lives, we look up to them and they have authority over us, we also learn that people in positions of power (school teachers, doctors, etc) are people that we want to gain the approval from. Some people, never recognise this pattern in themselves and can even project this onto their partners as well.
2. When we are labeled as “good” or “bad”, we see our SELF or our person as good or bad. This is not the truth. This is where the greatest false belief lies. We are all good as people. What we have are good and bad BEHAVIOURS. Do not mistaken someone’s bad behaviour as a comment on who they are as people. We are all created from the same stuff. To say that someone else was created wrong or badly is to say that the creator made mistakes.
When a baby is born, we don’t look at it as say what a bad person it is. We say how perfect they are. We are excited to see the gifts that they were given and to see the impacts they will have on the world.
It’s time to accept that you are a good person.
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