Sometimes we aren’t aware of our patterns until someone points them out to us. One way for me to notice my patterns at home was after having invited guests over to stay for a few days.
When we had guests over, I was able to observe how they functioned with their routines and contrast them with mine. None of our patterns were right or wrong, I only found the information useful to examine myself closer.
For example, my friends were nighthawks and tended to stay up late, whereas I'm a morning person and am up with my kids at 5am. This means that my kids have early bedtimes, routines and meals times. This was in contrast to my friends who went to bed later and then woke up and got to their day later.
I discovered that I had many rules or patterns that were on automatic and some of them I wanted to change. For instance, when I am cooking, I go into automatic mode and just make our meal. When my guests wanted to make a meal for us, they included my toddler in the cooking. They gave him tasks like breaking apart the bok choy into pieces and washing vegetables and my son loved to do this. It opened up my eyes to get him even more involved in the kitchen with me.
I was able to observe patterns around the house and how I felt when pots and pans got misplaced, what we allowed our children to do, etc. I wasn’t even aware that I had so many rules.
Take a look at your home and see what rules you have. This is a good way to ask yourself why you are the way you are.
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